


Traces of Love (TOL)

by eireneos



Series: Fate Written Across The Cosmos [2]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Beomgyu is curious and determined, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Somebody give taehyun a love manual, Whipped Kang Taehyun, taegyu wants to know what is love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:49:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28648593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eireneos/pseuds/eireneos
Summary: He didn’t know which one was worse: helping his best friend to define and understand the word ‘Love’ OR discovering his own feelings towards the said best friend.Either way, Kang Taehyun is doomed.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun
Series: Fate Written Across The Cosmos [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2099268
Comments: 13
Kudos: 52





	1. Wishing

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I never thought that I would get a lot of sweet reactions from Embodiments of Love (EOL) and I would like to thank everyone who has been with beomgyu’s journey until the end, I truly appreciate it. So since most of you wanted a glimpse of Taehyun's perspective, here it is!
> 
> Second, (if you haven't) I suggest you go ahead and read the first part of this series, Beomgyu's POV to be specific, to avoid spoilers! :D
> 
> \--> song for this chapter: Butterfly (Prologue) Mix - BTS
> 
> Third, this is not beta'd so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or errors (literally wrote this at 2 am) Nevertheless, thank you for your patience, all your previous comments were one of the main reasons that pushed me to continue writing this.
> 
> Lastly, a quick reminder that this is purely fictional and I guess that’s about it!
> 
> To whoever's reading this, thank you for being a witness of Taegyu's love story in this fic. Happy reading! <3

* * *

_"From afar, I steal glances;_

_if we touch hands,_ _will I lose you?"_

* * *

Kang Taehyun is proud to be a fan of a famous girl group in South Korea named Twice, with one of their songs entitled, ‘What Is Love’, he considers it as his favorite from the group. Ironically, he is only interested in the song, never in the concept of love itself, whatever that is.

Because based from the books and multiple references that he has read, love is merely a complex process of chemical reactions in the brain. He never once thought about it, as he was happy with his usual routine - whether it may be studying, hanging out with his friends, to spending time with his family or even his hobbies. Any form of disruption to his daily routine is equal to wasted time, and his time is an important factor in his productivity.

It never occurred to him though, that his best friend Choi Beomgyu, who has always been indulging in his never-ending curiosity - would make it his sole purpose to define the word love. Unfortunately, as he holds the precious title of being Beomgyu’s best friend, he makes it a point to help him figure it all out.

Okay, so he has zero ideas on how to help his best friend in regards to his current mission, but he refuses to raise his white flag to surrender, and so he goes back to the drawing board. At first, they went to different libraries to learn more about the definition of love, but the more they read, the more the concept of it didn’t make sense. They also tried attending a seminar for couples, which was a wrong move, since they weren’t even a couple and all the activities were quite.. interesting.

Every weekend which was spent playing video games transitioned into research on what is love and binge-watching romantic movies or series, which strangely became a permanent segment in their routine. Yes, he hated change, but he thinks that change may not be so bad after all, if it involves a happy Beomgyu by his side. Such activity made Taehyun notice (but would never admit it) that he prefers observing Beomgyu’s eyes - _a beautiful shade of brown, with different emotions fleetingly revealed because of the impact of every scene in every film_ \- rather than watching the movie itself.

Beomgyu’s curiosity about love started in his last year in high school when everyone began to scrutinize his best friend - as he was growing taller, his voice deeper than before, and his facial features more defined. Back then, Taehyun was constantly annoyed whenever he would come and wait for beomgyu’s class to end, only to be greeted with students ranging from freshman to their seniors, gathering outside beomgyu’s classroom to take a peek of the school’s wonderwall and beauty, Choi Beomgyu.

It also didn’t help when Beomgyu started attending college and his suitors would either give him snacks after class, ask him out on a date in different (some bizzare) ways or confessions written in sticky notes sprawled in handouts or reviewers. Even his professors were whipped - exempting him from activities that may tire the university’s prince and letting him off the hook whenever he submits his work a minute after the given deadline. His best friend wanted to know why people felt that way, how they loved, how they came to understand the word which holds a deep significance to the world.

It was a bit ironic how most of the university’s population is madly in love with his best friend, yet Beomgyu never did anything _extreme_. Only going on random dates which usually ends up with his hyung, confused as ever on what love truly felt like. Taehyun believes that it’s a bit crazy how Beomgyu’s curiosity fuels his desire in defining love. He thinks that maybe, just maybe, his best friend is going overboard with the whole idea. Nevertheless, Taehyun couldn’t come up with a different plan on how his best friend can understand love because he is just as clueless as he is, which is why he lets him be. For now.

There was even a time where Beomgyu went on a blind date, which turned out to be one of his creepy admirers. The woman did nothing but stare at Beomgyu, unblinking, and her cheshire smile only made it worse. Thus, Beomgyu called Taehyun and begged him to be his fake boyfriend to pick him up - which by the way, ended _really_ badly, because the said admirer (Taehyun prefers stalker) thought it was a good idea to be crazy and put her long nails to good use, making a ruckus inside the five-star restaurant. Luckily, both boys went home in one piece, a few scratches here and there, with a restraining order as a farewell gift given to the crazy admirer.

Going back to the point, he couldn’t blame the majority who have romantic feelings for his best friend. I mean who wouldn’t? The boy is surreal and is definitely a complete package - a man who can sing and dance, plays the guitar, has excellent grades, radiates so much comfort, has a great personality and is overall charming. Taehyun could go on and on with the reasons why it’s truly impossible to not fall in love with THE Choi Beomgyu, but he decides to stop there as he refuses to go down the same path that most people took. He only sees Beomgyu as his best friend. Well, that’s what Taehyun wishes to believe.

Now, with both of them in college - his best friend in his third year and taehyun in his second year, you would think that Beomgyu’s endeavors in defining love would at least subside, but sadly, it never happened. What did happen though, was Beomgyu’s curiosity getting the best of him when he met a total stranger at the university cafe.

It was close to midnight when beomgyu came barging inside the dorm and went straight to taehyun’s room, telling him in detail about a guy he met named Choi Soobin. Taehyun truly wanted to scold his best friend for waking him up as he has an important exam in the morning, but was too tired to even care as he had been consumed by reviewing all day.

Taehyun sat up and looked over Beomgyu, who was sitting at the edge of the bed - his mere presence suddenly making the dimly lit room bright. It all felt like a dream (he was either sleepy or maybe hallucinating, but even then, he couldn’t believe in his own excuses) as he finds himself once again looking at his best friend. Beomgyu’s brown eyes which the younger has grown to secretly love over the years, seem to glimmer differently, bearing a deep, foreign emotion. Although strangely enough, he ponders on the thought that the moon must be in love with his beomie too, as the moonlight reflecting through the window helped accentuate his best friend’s features perfectly.

Beomgyu’s smile never left his lips even when he was done talking. He truly tried to pay attention as much as possible to what his hyung was trying to tell him (of course he failed miserably). It was hard to listen to his best friend nowadays - he always seem to catch himself staring instead of concentrating on their conversations, and be that as it may, he refuses to entertain the fact that he was openly admiring his best friend for the nth time. So he said out loud what first came into his mind after remembering that they were actually talking which was, “I guess things like this don’t only happen in the movies huh, hyung?”

That night, Taehyun couldn’t go back to sleep. It felt like something in his little bubble shifted, but he couldn’t pinpoint exactly where and what it was. He still felt his exhaustion from studying, yet his thoughts kept him awake.

_Who is Choi Soobin? Will I be able to pass my exam? Why am I suddenly overwhelmed by my best friend’s presence?_

He kept thinking and thinking and thinking until he became a prisoner of these thoughts. The consequence manifested itself in the form of a headache. He sighed and repositioned himself to face his best friend, who was lucky enough to have a good night’s sleep, unlike him. This was a rare occurrence - both of them sleeping on the same bed, and contrary to the thunderous thudding of his heart, he didn’t want to think of their situation as anything more other than just that. He slowly reached out to comb his fingertips through Beomgyu’s hair as gentle as he could, making his best friend move closer and sluggishly resting his arm on Taehyun’s waist, still stuck in dreamland.

Times like this make Taehyun thank all his lucky stars to be able to openly express such an unusual emotion - a secret constantly whispered through the night which he never understood, yet welcomes it nonetheless.

The sad part though, is Beomgyu is unaware of it all. Mainly because Taehyun would always wake up an hour early, setting aside the emotions of last night, and every night before that, behind him.

  
  


_Who would have thought that such an unfamiliar feeling can slowly creep from the tips of your fingers up to the center of your heart?_

Definitely not Kang Taehyun, he would never admit that.

* * *

Ever since his best friend met Choi Soobin, the time that they used to spend together was gradually reduced to texting and staying up late at night, waiting for Beomgyu to come home. He didn’t want to be the type of person who would let jealousy reign over the remaining control that he has on his emotions, but he would be lying if he said that he’s okay with whatever is changing between Beomgyu’s relationship with said ‘cute bunny’ guy and their friendship.

He felt like he was being easily replaced by a total stranger, who could probably put Beomgyu in harm’s way since his best friend is too trusting and mind you, they only met recently. If only Taehyun bought the coffee that he promised to Beomgyu beforehand, maybe he wouldn’t be stuck in this situation. What was Taehyun supposed to do though? They’re only best friends and yet here he was, constantly worrying. _Three more minutes until midnight, if he’s not home by then, I’ll go to bed._ Taehyun thought, checking the time from his phone for the fifth time.

_Three minutes_ , taehyun pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around his legs, gently resting his chin on his knees. He has the right to feel worried, right? Beomgyu’s last message was around lunch time, when he promised to go home early tonight. _Yes, best friends worry over things like this,_ he reassures himself.

_Two minutes_ , taehyun thought. He sounds like a protective boyfriend and he deeply hated it. He closed his eyes, his worries of today are draining him. This is the last time he’ll wait for beomgyu to come home, he’ll ask his other friends to hang out with him next time to help ease his mind.

_One minute_ , taehyun wanted to sleep on the couch. He has been trying his best to ignore his thoughts for the past three hours by playing video games, studying, workout sessions and scrolling through social media but all that’s left now is him stressing out over his best friend, and for what? He has no clue.

_Five, four, three, two, one._

Taehyun stood up, ready to head off to bed, when the door to their dorm opened and in came his best friend. Beomgyu walked in, holding two cups of caramel macchiato and a plastic bag full of what Taehyun assumed to be his favorite snacks. He looked up to stare at Beomgyu, whose eyes held worry and guilt. His best friend walked forward with cautious steps until he was face to face with Taehyun.

“Hey tyunnie, I’m sorry, please forgive me? I sincerely apologize that you had to wait for so long. I have no excuses..” Beomgyu said, offering the caramel macchiato and bag of snacks to Taehyun. The younger boy’s shoulders dropped. How can he be upset when his best friend is happy spending time with that guy Soobin? It was Beomgyu’s mission after all, to know what the word love is, so what is his problem anyways? He even called him Tyunnie! A nickname that never fails to sound so endearing for him and only him.

Taehyun felt selfish, even though they don’t spend as much time together as they used to, Beomgyu always made it a point to look out for him - reminding him not to skip meals, asking him to take a break whenever he studies too much and even randomly brings him his favorite snacks just because he wants to.

He closed the remaining space between them and wrapped his arms around Beomgyu’s waist before replying, “It’s okay hyung, as long as he makes you happy and takes good care of you. It’s all okay.”

“Are you sure? I can talk to him and adjust my schedule instead so I wouldn’t have to go home late?” Beomgyu leaned back to look at the younger, worry laced in his voice. They continued to look at each other, so Beomgyu pressed further, “You do know that you mean a lot to me right? No one will ever replace you if you’re worried about that. If something’s bothering you, especially if it’s about Soobin, please do tell me.”

Taehyun felt like crying, what his best friend said was the only reassurance he ever needed. Besides, his best friend is not some property that he could selfishly claim. He’s thankful that they’re best friends. It was inevitable that they would find their own partners in the future, but he should have known that he will always have a place in Beomgyu’s life, and that’s all that matters. Right? 

He held both of Beomgyu’s shoulders, briefly closing his eyes as he took a deep breath and answered, “Really, It’s okay. I’m sorry for worrying you. I’m really happy for you, hyung.”

In that moment, it felt like time stood still - with Beomgyu looking at Taehyun in appreciation, while Taehyun looked at him with gratitude. Taehyun broke the silence, asking him to spill the ‘tea’ on what’s happening with him and Soobin, and so the night went on - Beomgyu relaying the events of today and Taehyun listening attentively - ignoring the pleas of his own heart and how it was slowly aching.

From now on, he vows to only be happy for his hyung, who finally found love. Definitely no more doubts or jealousy. Even though deep inside he strangely feels pained, truly wishing he was in Soobin’s position - being able to flirt with Beomgyu, take him to different places and whatnot. Whatever he was starting to feel, he pushes it further at the back of his mind, a place where he hopes is unreachable. He will be happy for his hyung, no matter what.

* * *

Today was not an ordinary day, and here’s the reason why: Taehyun had an epiphany.

Although it took him ages and multiple events before it actually happened, the outcome makes him want to turn a blind eye instead, the way he has been basically doing for so long. However, he finds it difficult now, especially that he is fully aware of what has been bothering him, leading him to even think about accepting the realization half-heartedly.

It happened first when Beomgyu came home looking like a total wreck - his hair was all over the place, dull and puffy brown eyes, tear-stained cheeks, and a visible pout formed from his lips. He didn’t need to ask, because he thinks that he may already have an idea.

Choi Soobin was dating someone, and right from the start, that someone was never Choi Beomgyu.

It was only a rumor going around the university, one which Taehyun refused to believe, and now he wished he relied on and immediately told his hyung, if it would have saved his best friend from the heartbreak that he is experiencing right now.

It was pure torture, the pain of seeing his best friend on the ground whilst spilling his feelings out was a sight he would never want to see, ever again. So he held Beomgyu as close as he possibly could, hoping that his hyung could listen to the way Taehyun's heart cries for him, empathizes with him and secretly yearns for something which is presumably impossible given their situation.

He kept whispering reassurances - _you’ll be okay hyung, i’m right here, you will be fine -_ praying that all of his words could reach the broken pieces of Beomgyu’s heart. That night, their bodies remained in a specific disposition, as both boys were seated on the cold floor, with Beomgyu’s back resting against Taehyun’s chest and his head, resting on Taehyun’s shoulder. Not once did Taehyun let go as he was afraid of losing Beomgyu in his fragile state. The position made him uncomfortable, his back hurt but he didn’t mind. He was more than happy to provide all the comfort that he could give. So instead, he focused on his hyung’s soft, but steady heartbeat - an important reminder that Taehyun should protect it at all costs.

Beomgyu was not himself for a whole damn week and Taehyun, for the first time in his entire existence, did not know what to do. None of his books educated him about this if he were to be honest. This led him to irrationally visit Beomgyu’s mom in Daegu on a Saturday morning to ask for help. Before leaving, he stole a quick glance at the sleeping Beomgyu on his bed, set multiple reminders on his hyung’s phone to notify him later on, and cooked enough food for him to eat three meals on that day. Once he arrived at Beomgyu’s house, Mrs. Choi welcomed him with a warm hug and a delicious feast, as she has unfailingly did even back then. He barely ate though, going straight to the point as to why he paid a visit. He did not go into detail on what happened, only telling Beomgyu’s mother that his son was heartbroken and he felt hopeless about the situation. Mrs. Choi however, was surprised, but quickly replaced it with a knowing smile. She gingerly placed her hand on top of Taehyun’s.

“You really care about my son, do you?” was what Beomgyu’s mom said. Taehyun couldn’t help but immediately nod, earning him a giggle from Mrs. Choi.

“I understand. You care about him, maybe even more so.. Seeing as how you traveled all the way here to Daegu just to talk to me personally, when you could have given me a call, hm?” The comment made him blush, of course, out of all the days, why did he forget such an important information?

Maybe it’s because he was too busy panicking and thought that visiting Beomgyu’s mother could help him, when in fact, he could have taken the easier route and just called. Either way, it was too late for that as he was here now.

“Thank you for telling me, Taehyun. Now, could you do me a favor?” Taehyun looked up to stare into Mrs. Choi’s eyes before muttering an ‘of course’ as his reply.

Mrs. Choi gave him a smile and said, “Ever since you came into my son’s life, I noticed how you have become his source of strength, also his weakness, if I am to be frank about this. So if you really want to help him, let him heal at his own pace and simply make him feel that he’s not alone in the process of moving on.”

Mrs. Choi gently tapped Taehyun’s hand and stood up, offering her hand which Taehyun carefully took. “Take good care of Beomgyu for me, okay? I also prepared his favorite meal for you to bring home, maybe it could help lighten up his mood a little bit.”

Taehyun left Daegu with a surprisingly positive state of mind, a feeling like he could finally breathe now that he knew how to help his best friend out. He wishes that it all works out in the end, because it has to. He didn’t want to see his best friend suffer anymore, he definitely doesn’t deserve it.

He was happy to be able to visit - even promising to visit them once a month if his schedule allows him to as he considers them his second family. He was even happier when he entered the dorm to see Beomgyu’s eyes gradually light up to the sight of his favorite home-cooked meal in Taehyun’s hands. He captures the image in his mind and considers it his first win, in helping his hyung. He never really told his best friend the reason as to why he went to Daegu, only saying that he had to do research for his current project, an excuse which Beomgyu thankfully believed.

The following week, he talked to his mom over the phone. His parents explained that they lack manpower, as they were too busy running their business and taking care of household chores simultaneously. Because of this, Taehyun had to go back home for at least a month or so to help out his family. It was a bit tiring then, as he had to adjust his schedule. Once things were settled, they talked about other things. Technically, he couldn’t stop talking about Beomgyu, until his mom pointed out something he wished she never did.

“Son, I think you’re starting to act and feel more than a best friend should. Do you, by any chance, like Beomgyu?” The question made him sputter out complete nonsense and not being able to recover from it, he muttered a quick ‘goodbye mom, i love you and i’ll see you soon’ before swiftly ending the call, not giving his own mother a chance to reply.

All of these led to his epiphany - everything made much more sense now, that whatever he was feeling all along was because of this - which probably presented itself way back when their friendship was still new or maybe even occurred just now. He has feelings for his best friend. A big ‘what the hell’ moment for someone who never thought about love.

If Taehyun were to truly reflect upon it, he thinks that maybe, he has been stuck in the stage of denying whatever romantic feelings he felt when it involves Beomgyu, afraid that whatever he feels might ruin their friendship, yet he concentrates on the fact that it somehow hits differently when someone else points out that there is a high probability of him obtaining feelings for his best friend.

He didn’t know when it exactly all went down. He simply cannot provide a specific time to when he caught such feelings. So he comes up with this: _from all the moments that the two of them shared, no matter how big or small it may be, when gathered into one big picture, provides solid evidence as to why everything is intricately traced and beautifully made in the form of what people like to call ‘love’._

What he was feeling felt so familiar but foreign at the same time, and that thought alone terrifies him. Of course he refuses to sleep until he finds a solution, and he needs it asap. Whatever remedy is available in order to eliminate his feelings for his best friend, he was willing to take into consideration. He values their friendship too much and trusts himself enough to not let his feelings get in the way of what they currently have.

If only the circumstances were different, he would have eagerly taken a leap of faith and confessed, but that’s not the case.

So he desperately wishes upon his lucky stars to provide him enough strength to endure all the ache and the longing. Because at the end of the day, the harsh reality settles in when he reminds himself that Choi Beomgyu and Kang Taehyun are the best of friends.

_As it always has painfully been just that. The best of friends._


	2. Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m having a small case of writer’s block, but I hope this chapter can suffice :(
> 
> Song for this chapter: Love Poem - IU

* * *

_“I can hear the love poem,_

_They wrote holding their breath._

_I wish it flies to you,_

_And arrive before it’s too late.”_

* * *

“Taehyun, can you put these boxes in your father’s office? And please stop sulking.” His mother said, currently buried in a pile of paperwork, which were probably due two weeks from now.

Taehyun releases another sigh (the fifth one today actually), before picking up all the smaller boxes and trudged towards his father’s office. He’s currently back at home, as he promised to his parents over a month ago that he’d help out. He doesn't know when he will be able to go back to the dorms, but his mom promised that he probably has a whole month left before he could leave, if the situation ever gets better.

He’s truly trying to stay positive, it’s not that he didn’t want to help out - it’s just that he deeply misses the solace of his dorm _(or rather, the solace that settles within him whenever he’s with his roommate)_. He wasn’t also keen with the thought of leaving beomgyu alone, since his best friend was still grieving for his broken heart. Although a few pep talks and reassurances from his best friend was all he needed - both of them promising to talk as much as they could.

A week before Taehyun had to leave, he helped Beomgyu look for a smaller and cheaper place, which was relatively easy, and even helped him pack his things and move it to the older’s new dorm. Before he left though, he wrapped Beomgyu in a warm and tight embrace - silently hoping his feelings wouldn't spill out from the gesture. On the other hand, his best friend laughed it off, patting Taehyun’s back before saying, “Tyunnie, your house is literally thirty minutes away from the university, I think we’ll be okay.”

It had been difficult for him to be separated with his best friend, even way back then. He remembers the time when Taehyun was left in his last year in high school, and Beomgyu in his first year in college. Since most of his days were spent with him, everything somehow felt far from normal.

Everyday, he would sit with Felix and his other friends during lunch - always sneaking glances at his phone hoping his best friend would leave a message. Other days, he’d spend it inside the library, staring at the chair in front of him - believing that his best friend would magically appear if he stares long enough.

Come Friday nights, which was definitely his favorite, as he gets to come home - Beomgyu patiently waiting for him in his room.

Soon enough he was able to obtain a scholarship from the same university where Beomgyu was studying, immediately moving to Beomgyu's dorm.

Now he was back to square one: hopelessly missing Beomgyu. He thought his feelings would at least disappear once he moved out, but boy was he so wrong.

The distance and the little time they spent only made it worse, something awfully related to the saying, ‘ _absence makes the heart grow fonder’_. It also didn’t help that most of his friends were teasing him about his failed attempts in hiding his feelings.

“You suck at hiding it, Taehyun-ah! Just confess, it’s not that hard.” Mingyu confidently said. Taehyun rolled his eyes at that.

Mingyu is one of his college friends who’s in the same course as him, but is a year above him. They became close friends when Taehyun joined as a student representative in the student council for their department. It didn’t take long when he became friends with the other members of the council, and surprisingly, Felix, one of his high school friends, also applied in the same university but is in a different course.

It was Wednesday, when Mingyu asked him to hang out at the university’s cafeteria and go over some schoolwork while they’re at it.

“Easy for you to say, Wonwoo hyung liked you way before you realized your own feelings! Plus, Felix and Bang Chan hyung were grossly pining over each other for so long.” Taehyun exasperatedly answered, to which Mingyu only shrugged to as a reply.

“I say nothing and somehow my boyfriend and I get dragged into the conversation.” Felix cut in, walking over the pair to sit beside Taehyun, immediately stealing a fry from Mingyu’s plate - earning him a soft smack on the head, courtesy of Mingyu.

“The point is, I have never dated anyone, let alone have feelings for anyone except now, and Beomgyu’s still hung over that Soobin guy.” Taehyun leaned his head on Felix’s shoulder as a sign of defeat.

“How about this, you wait until it feels right to confess? I mean.. you can’t keep hiding this, Taehyun-ah. It might cause you more pain and ‘what ifs’ if you continue on like that” Felix said, softly patting Taehyun on the head.

Taehyun could only grunt in reply, lifting his head from Felix’s shoulder and proceeded to read his notes, avoiding his friends’ worried glances. He’ll deal with that thought later, for now, he had an exam that he needed to ace.

* * *

Apparently, him helping his parents out will last more than a month than his mother had expected, which is why he’s a little upset that he probably won’t be able to spend his semestral break with Beomgyu.

His break wasn’t particularly exciting - organizing office files, lifting and moving boxes, answering calls from potential investors and so on - everything was truly tiring, but then again, this was a taste of what his future will be like once he graduates.

Taehyun obviously had a busy schedule, so when the final day of their semestral break came, he felt quite proud of himself for being so productive. He was at home, sitting at his father’s office after helping him out with work-related errands. It was ten in the evening when he decided to go out and buy a caramel macchiato, a little gift for himself for doing a great job.

He was busy reading his best friend’s message about his newfound friend - someone he met at his favorite arcade - not really looking at where he was going, when he suddenly bumped into what felt like a pole or a wall, falling on the concrete floor with a soft ‘thud’.

“Sorry bud, didn’t see you there.” A deep voice said. Taehyun looked up from the talking wall, the sight taking his breath away.

The said talking wall was actually human, a gorgeous one at that. The gorgeous human in question was none other than Jeon Jungkook - a famous alumni from their university. He graduated two years ago, coming from the music and arts, specifically the dance department.

The whole university (Beomgyu included), adored him. The annual showcase of the music and arts department always left the students in awe, especially when Jeon Jungkook was the one performing. Beomgyu was lucky enough to be in the same building as him in their university, which meant that he was able to watch the older dance as often as he could.

“Uh hello? Did I hit you too hard?” Jungkook asked, chuckling as he did so. The question brought Taehyun back to reality, taking the elder’s outstretched hand and slowly stood up.

“I’m okay, it’s more than okay, I mean, um, ha.” Taehyun’s obvious struggle in forming words made Jungkook’s smile impossibly wider.

“The name’s Jungkook, by the way, I didn’t mean to bump into you, I was talking to someone over the phone so, sorry about that..” Jungkook said, lifting his right arm (which was filled with tattoos, stealing Taehyun's breath for the second time today) to scratch the back of his head.

“Oh um yeah I know who you are, I’m Taehyun. I study at the same university where you graduated, and oh! it’s okay it was my fault too I was busy texting.” Taehyun shyly answered. Jungkook only nodded, giving the younger a small smile.

They stood there for a few minutes, with the cool breeze and the leaves of the trees as the only conversation occurring. Jungkook’s stare made him squirm, shifting from one foot to the other, feeling a bit insecure since he was wearing his squirrel pajamas.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Taehyun asked. Jungkook looked up to meet the younger's eyes.

“I learned to appreciate and admire art back when I was still in college, so I recognize art whenever I see one.” Jungkook smoothly replied, making Taehyun blush.

The younger not wanting to make the situation awkward, immediately bid goodbye. Unfortunately, Jungkook had other plans and decided to accompany him to the cafe. After a few random questions, they surprisingly became comfortable with each other, even to the point where he walked Taehyun home - once again leaving the younger a blushing mess.

Before Jungkook left, he asked Taehyun if they could get to know each other more, and before Taehyun could even stop himself, he asked the elder, “Oh, um.. Are you - are you asking me out on a date?”

Jungkook chuckled, his stance seemingly screaming confidence. The elder reached out to ruffle Taehyun’s hair before answering,

“And if I am?”

* * *

After a few weeks of contemplating about Felix and Mingyu’s previous conversation, he finally decides to confess.

There were actually multiple attempts of him confessing: The first one was a song dedication from the university’s radio station (which Beomgyu didn’t get to listen to because he was wearing his earphones when it happened).

His second attempt was baking cupcakes and wrote ‘i like you’ on the top using icing (which Beomgyu didn’t receive because he left it at the student council office and came back to see the cupcakes missing, with only the box remaining).

On his third confession, he made an infograph filled with pie charts and line graphs to visually represent how much he loves Beomgyu (which was deleted becuse his laptop suddenly acquired a virus and now he needs to get it fixed).

He was always lucky, but maybe his luck had run out seeing as how none of his confessions came through. He didn’t give up though, deciding that his final attempt was to write a simple love poem.

He’s planning to confess once they go out tomorrow evening at one of the famous tteokbokki stalls by the campus. He reads the poem one last time before neatly folding it. He shakily slid it inside the purple envelope and carefully put it inside his bag.

Today was the day that Taehyun gets to finally confess.

He felt nothing but nervous the whole day, but he tried to stay focus as he had a lot of things to do before they go out later.

He was currently inside the student council office. They were done talking about their plans for their upcoming event and some have already left, the remaining members (including himself) decided to order food and hang out.

“So, there’s this freshman who enrolled late, but he wants to join us as a first year representative.” Jeonghan, their president, said.

“Oh I think I know him, Hueningkai right? He’s a total sweetheart!” Yuna, their secretary replied.

“Most of the students in our department are already falling head over heels for him, saying that he looks angelic? I haven’t seen him around though.” Mingyu chimed in, holding three plastic bags full of food and drinks. Everyone yelled a chorus of yays, thank yous and wows, before taking the food out of the bags.

“Of course you haven’t! He’s always with our Campus Prince, Choi Beomgyu, from the music and arts department.” Yuna interjected, passing Mingyu a burger.

The mention of his best friend’s name made him instantly stiffen from his seat, which did not go unnoticed as both Mingyu and Felix quickly stared at Taehyun worriedly.

“Tsk, everyone thinks they’re dating already. Could you believe that? I mean, I saw them holding hands the other day!” Isa, their auditor, sarcastically replied.

A loud cough from Mingyu made them remember that Beomgyu’s best friend was with them - making Yuna and Isa apologize. Taehyun waved his hands in the air as a sign of forgiveness. Jeonghan immediately changed the topic, seeing as everyone went silent after the exchange. 

Taehyun on the other hand, was at a loss for words. _So this is the friend that you were talking about,_ he thought.

He drowned out the whole conversation, forcing out a smile towards his friends and diverted his attention to the food in front of him. The whole situation suddenly made him lose his appetite, but he ate anyway, even if his thoughts made him want to vomit.

After the meeting, everyone bid goodbye with Taehyun, being the first one to leave. It was already past six and he was going to meet with Beomgyu around seven thirty. He was standing outside their department’s building, waiting for his best friend to arrive. His phone vibrated from his palm, opening the text message from Beomgyu.

**_From: My Beomie <3_ **

_Hey tyun, do u remember that friend_ _I was talking about?_

**_To: My Beomie <3_ **

_Um of course I do, hueningkai right?_

**_From: My Beomie <3_ **

_I never told u his name tho? >:( _

**_To: My Beomie <3_ **

_Okay. So??_

**_From: My Beomie <3_ **

_Suspicious hm.._

**_From: My Beomie <3_ **

_Anyways.. he’s right outside my dorm rn?_

**_From: My Beomie <3_ **

_He said he wants to take me somewhere,_ _I don’t want to cancel on u last minute tho!_

**_From: My Beomie <3_ **

_Tyunnie? I can say no if you want me to :(_

Taehyun sighed, feeling a bit worn out from today’s events, but mostly upset about not being able to confess once again. He closed his eyes, feeling his heart ache.

He opened his phone to reply to Beomgyu’s message, saying that it’s okay as he was tired anyways. He opened his bag and took out the purple envelope, crumpling it in his palm, before throwing it at the nearest trash bin. He walked away from the university, with each step growing heavier and his heart getting wearier by the minute.

Once he was home, he plopped on his bed, thinking about beomgyu and hueningkai.

It was so obvious that both guys were more than friends. And it hurt, so much, knowing that he wasn’t the one going out with Beomgyu - holding him and openly loving him.

This was all too much, everything was falling apart - a tear dropped from his eye, then another, and another, until he was quietly sobbing on his bed.

He needed someone, but he didn’t know who to call. Although he has a lot of friends, being vulnerable in front of them was a rare sight for all of his friends except one, his best friend. Nobody ever comforted him the way Beomgyu did, but who was he supposed to call? If the reason for his tears was also the one who could only bring him comfort?

So he called the person he least expected to seek comfort from, after two rings, the person from the other line answered.

“Taehyun? You fina- hey, are you okay?” Jungkook gently asked. Taehyun shook his head, a sob escaping from his lips.

“Are you home? I’m coming over okay? Please wait for me.”

* * *

It took three movies, two rolls of tissues, two tubs of ice cream, a lot of hugs and a heartfelt conversation before Taehyun finally stopped crying. Both of them were lying in Taehyun’s bed, with him securely wrapped in Jungkook’s arms.

Turns out, his Jungkook hyung is also in love with his best friend, a man named Taehyung.

It was a bit funny how both of them found comfort in each other, while both of them were hurting for the same reasons. The only difference was, Jungkook’s best friend Taehyung, was engaged with one of his friends named Jimin.

The thought made his heart ache, feeling sad for his hyung and afraid that he might experience the same fate with Beomgyu.

As they were lying in bed, his thoughts started to wander. He couldn’t deny the fact that what he was feeling for Beomgyu is far different from what he feels for Jungkook, but he’d be lying if he doesn’t find the elder attractive at all.

When Jungkook asked him out, he immediately said no, but now, maybe it wasn’t so bad to try? If he tries hard enough, maybe his feelings for Beomgyu would go away.

He took a deep breath, before looking up to his Jungkook hyung - who was surprisingly already looking at him.

“I know it sounds crazy, but should we try? Dating, I mean.” Taehyun whispered, taken aback by Jungkook’s smile. The elder pulled Taehyun closer, softly kissing his forehead and answered,

“I’d love that, Taehyun-ah. On your own pace, alright? No pressure.” The answer brought Taehyun’s tears back to the surface.

He had been feeling unlucky for weeks, but Jungkook made him feel lucky tonight - making him feel his warmth, like a slow burn of a candlelit, engulfing him all over.

He closes his eyes, momentarily thinking of Beomgyu hugging him, instead of the man he agreed to date a few minutes ago. Taehyun immediately scolds himself and erases the idea. Instead, he focuses on his hope that this is his chance to move on.

_Please make this work, this has to work._ Taehyun silently pleads, closing his eyes as sleep consumes him.

* * *

The whole week was filled with spontaneous dates - to the cinema, to art exhibits and even bungee jumping (Taehyun was terrified, but Jungkook held his hand the whole time).

He never mentioned Jungkook to Beomgyu, maybe someday, when he’s ready. But he did introduce Jungkook to Felix and Mingyu, three days into dating. The sudden revelation made both of his friends wide-eyed and open-mouthed, pulling Taehyun inside their student council office for a ‘quick interrogation’.

_“First of all, you’re dating the Jeon Jungkook?! How the heck did that happen?” Mingyu exclaimed, lifting both his hands in the air for emphasis._

_Taehyun could only laugh, seeing as how the whole scenario felt surreal for him as well._

_“What about Beomgyu though, I thought..” Felix trailed on, a frown imprinted on his lips. Taehyun couldn’t answer, the dirt on the floor suddenly looked fascinating. He heard both of his friends sigh, before wrapping Taehyun in a group hug._

_“Are you sure about this, Taehyun-ah?” Felix delicately asked, moving away from the hug to look at him._

_“Not really, but I’m willing to try. I don’t want to ruin what Beomgyu and I have.. Maybe this could help, you know?” Taehyun replied. Both of his friends frowned, feeling a bit skeptical._

_In the end, they both nodded and went out of the office, seeing Jungkook patiently waiting for the trio._

In the middle of their third week though, the atmosphere was a bit different.

It was Thursday, Taehyun was in a bad mood. He hadn’t been able to sleep for the past two days because of all the studying and chores at home. Aside from that, he has been trying to avoid seeing Beomgyu by hanging out with Jungkook whenever he has the time. He felt guilty, but he knew that he had to do it, or else he’d fall all over again.

He walked out of their department’s building and was surprised to see his Jungkook hyung waiting for him, a bouquet of purple irises in both hands - which were believed to symbolize one’s admiration and wisdom. Taehyun’s mood immediately brightened, leaving a peck on his hyung’s cheek.

While eating, they were talking about random memories from their high school days. Most of the memories were really funny, taking all of Taehyun’s stress away.

As he was in the middle of his storytelling about his crazy adventure with Beomgyu, Jungkook put down his fork, somehow loud enough for Taehyun to stop talking.

“Taehyun-ah, I’m not Beomgyu, nor will I ever be him..” Jungkook said, a sad smile falling upon his lips. Taehyun held his breath, not quite surprised, but still hurt with the sudden confession.

“and sadly, I’m not the Taehyung that you love, hyung.” He dejectedly replied.

It was bound to happen, Taehyun thought. Sure, they only dated for a few weeks, but it felt like they’ve known each other for so long.

The reality kicked in, knowing that no matter how happy they both are with each other, it will never work, as both of them are still in love with someone else.

He concludes that the fire which burned so bright at the start, only ended up extinguishing the remaining flames that they felt for each other.

Both of them were to be blamed - Taehyun could never stop talking about Beomgyu, and Taehyung’s name would unconsciously slip out from Jungkook’s lips. He also can’t help imagine that Beomgyu was beside him, instead of Jungkook, which frustrated him as things like this seemed out of his control.

“We’re a mess, aren’t we?” Jungkook laughed, tears forming in his eyes, and Taehyun couldn’t help but reach out to catch the first one that fell.

“At least we tried. I’m happy we did, hyung.” Taehyun answered.

Both boys fell into a comfortable silence, looking at each other as if it was the last time, and maybe it was.

“I’m really sorry.. Friends?” Taehyun asked, a hopeful look adorning his face.

“Me too.. and yes, friends.” Jungkook immediately replied, holding the younger’s hand which was resting on Jungkook’s cheek, bringing it down on the table.

After that, they made the rest of the day meaningful for the both of them - only exchanging smiles and laughter, like nothing bad had happened at all.

* * *

He was unable to go back to the university dorms for the rest of the semester, since his parents’ workload seems to constantly pile up.

After he ended things with Jungkook, he told Mingyu and Felix about it, who obviously failed at hiding their relieved smiles because they were rooting for ‘Bamtyun’ - a ship name that both of his friends made for him and Beomgyu - which Taehyun thinks is quite cute.

Since their student council activities were finished, he had a lot more time to spare compared to his previous schedule. He didn’t get to talk to Hueningkai that much though, as their representatives were only called during big events. Taehyun decided to call Beomgyu then, constantly probing Beomgyu about his current relationship with Hueningkai before the elder gave in.

All along, Beomgyu still had feelings for Soobin, even when he was with Hueningkai.

The scenario made him think about his previous relationship with Jungkook. He was a little disappointed, knowing that his best friend was dating someone else in order to move on, but then again, he did it too. So with that thought in mind, he decided to be honest with him.

_“Hyung, you have to be honest and come to terms with what you feel. I think communication is important when it comes to love, so if you don’t feel the same way, please tell him before both of you get hurt. He deserves better and we both know that.”_

After Taehyun’s mini speech, they talked for a few more minutes before he ended the call. He hopes that his best friend would take to heart what he told him.

After Beomgyu’s graduation, his best friend somehow became happier, like the weight that he was carrying after Soobin happened, was lifted off of his shoulders. Whenever Taehyun asked though, Beomgyu would only give him a smile, yet the younger always waited for an answer, but he guesses that he’ll never know.

* * *

Weeks have passed and there are only three days left before another academic year starts.

Beomgyu’s parents gave his best friend an expensive apartment and a brand new car as their graduation gift, which Beomgyu refused at first, but accepted it in the end (he had no choice really, his mother was quite stubborn). Taehyun was also lucky enough to be Felix’s roommate, as his friend’s previous roommate dropped out and moved to a different country. He still kept in touch with Jungkook, the elder recently telling him that he met a man named Namjoon last week - but they were only friends (for now, Taehyun joked and Jungkook only replied with a laughing emoji). Lastly, he was happy that his parents finally decided to hire a helper at home and more workers for their business.

All in all, everything seems to be in better circumstances and he hopes that it stays that way.

Paperworks in hand, Taehyun was currently walking towards the student council’s office. He was elected as the Treasurer for the upcoming academic year - with Mingyu being the Vice President and Felix, their auditor.

He opened the door to the office, and was about to walk inside when he bumped into someone, the papers falling out of Taehyun’s grasp, scattered around the floor. He was about to scold whoever bumped into him when he saw who it was.

“Taehyun hyung, I’m glad I bumped into you.” Hueningkai said. The students weren’t kidding when he looked like an angel, his overall aura made every room he walked into brighter. Taehyun shook his head and answered,

“Sorry about that. I wanted to thank you. Beomgyu hyung seems to be happier these days. I guess both of you worked it out?” He tried to sound like he was teasing, but really, he wanted to cry right there. Who wouldn’t? The love of his life was happy and it wasn’t because of him.

“Um not really, he told me to stop.” Hueningkai answered with a shrug, bending down to pick up the forgotten papers that flew from Taehyun’s hands. The elder kneeled to help the younger, albeit looking a bit flustered with the whole situation.

“I didn’t know, he never told me I-” Taehyun was cut off his Hueningkai’s laugh, before patting his hyung on the shoulder.

“It’s okay, please take good care of him for me.” Hueningkai replied. Taehyun nodded, drawing a small cross sign over his heart, indicating his promise, to which Hueningkai giggled at such a cute gesture.

The younger was about to walk out but abruptly stopped when he reached a certain distance with the other.

“Oh and Taehyun hyung?” Hueningkai called out, looking over his shoulder. Taehyun mumbled a quick ‘yeah’ before turning to look at Hueningkai.

“Don’t forget to invite me to the ‘Bamtyun’ wedding in the near future, yeah?”

The comment made Taehyun choke, yelling at Hueningkai to come back so he could wrestle him, but the younger was already too far to reach, with nothing but his laugh echoing down the hallway.

* * *

The whole year was truly stressful, but Taehyun was more than thankful to be able to live for moments like this. It was nothing extravagant really - he was currently in Beomgyu’s dorm, since his best friend asked him to hang out and who was he to decline?

They were currently sprawled out on the floor, taking a quick break from playing video games the whole day.

Beomgyu was still laughing at a joke Taehyun made ten minutes ago. The younger turned to his side to take a closer look at his best friend, the sight making his heart swell with pride - the crinkles on Beomgyu’s eyes were evident, a few happy tears falling from them. His best friend’s laugh was like music to his ears, a wonderful melody that he hoped would never end.

This is one of the days that Taehyun was talking about. He accepted the fact that nobody will ever come close to how Beomgyu makes him feel, because there is only one Choi Beomgyu in the world - and that fact alone is both a blessing and a curse.

A knock on the door forced Beomgyu to calm down, running off to open it. After a few minutes (which honestly felt like eternity for Taehyun), Beomgyu came back, happily shaking the plastic bag in front of Taehyun’s face.

“Guess who bought you your favorite food? That’s right! Me, myself and I!” Beomgyu exclaimed. This made Taehyun chuckle, seeing how adorable his best friend was while proudly showing him his favorite meal.

“Quick! Let’s eat before it turns cold!” Beomgyu pulled Taehyun up and dragged him to the dining table.

It was truly endearing, how his best friend was so thoughtful.

Beomgyu didn’t know that all the simple gestures made Taehyun love him more - if that was even possible, seeing as how the younger was already in too deep.

He looked at his best friend once again, who was too busy humming a song that has been stuck in his mind for days, a smile playing on his lips and his eyes, _oh how he loved those eyes_ , was back to its usual gleam.

It was only an ordinary day, but Taehyun considers each day a special one, simply because Beomgyu makes all of his days better.

So he made a silent promise and tattooed it in his heart, to patiently wait for Beomgyu, no matter how long it takes or how much it’ll hurt.

Because he believes that this man right here, sitting in front of him, is worth the risk and all the pain that comes with it.


	3. Worthwhile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter: Terrified - Katherine McPhee
> 
> — PLEASE READ !!!  
> WARNING: minor profanities and mentions of blood  
> NOTE: if the words in this chapter are italicized with an asterisk, it means that these are flashbacks!

* * *

_”This could be good, it’s already better than that,_

_And nothing’s worse than knowing you’re holding back,_

_I could be all that you needed if you let me try.”_

* * *

Taehyun fumbles on the doorknob in Beomgyu's apartment, carrying several bags of groceries in both hands, with the weight of the bags making his arms numb. After multiple attempts, he finally unlocked the door using his spare key and went inside, shutting the door with a thump to signal his arrival. He quickly observed the apartment, the cold atmosphere immediately overwhelming him, momentarily making his breath hitch.

He walked over the kitchen counter and dropped the groceries at hand, briefly glancing at his best friend - cocooned in multiple layers of blankets, silently trying to watch a movie for the hundredth time - keyword would be ‘trying’, the guy is basically staring at the screen with his face devoid of any emotion. The sight would have been cute, his best friend looked fluffy, tiny and overall _very_ cuddly from his point of view, if not for the bags under beomgyu’s eyes and hollowed cheeks. His best friend looked barely alive, if he were to be truthful. Thinking about it gave an unsettling feeling for Taehyun, so he walked further inside and opened all the curtains to at least bring a little life inside the apartment.

“That’s enough moping for today, hyung. You’re acting like it’s the end of the world.” Taehyun muttered. He never thought that they would once again end up here - being his best friend’s curiosity would be too much, setting him up for another heartbreak.

It has been six months since hueningkai happened, a few months since beomgyu changed, and only two weeks since it all went down. The little scars on his left knuckle were still quite visible even though a week had already passed. He shook his head, remembering the adrenaline rush and the panicked voices of the crowd.

_* Taehyun walks inside the dimly lit bar, his strides were cautious, yet determined. He didn’t come here to get drunk, and he definitely did not come here to get laid. It was quite difficult to look for a certain someone in a dark and crowded room, but then again, the person that he was looking for always stood out from any crowd - just like what Jungkook hyung told him before._

_Right at the far corner of Eternally bar was the man of the hour, Choi Yeonjun. The name brought a sudden rush of anger brewing deep within him. The elder was downing multiple shots as fast as he could, accompanied by three people, and one of them was Choi Soobin - his best friend’s first love. He walked over the elder until they were face to face. Yeonjun looked at him and raised a brow, asking the younger if he wanted to do shots too._

_and all Taehyun saw was red._

_“This is for being an asshole.” He throws a punch which grazed the elder’s jaw. A series of gasps and whispers weaved through the growing crowd that gathered around the two. Before Yeonjun could even react, the younger roughly pushed Yeonjun down on the cold ground and straddled him. Taehyun couldn’t hear the loud music nor what the crowd were saying, the only thing that he could hear was the loud pumping of blood running through his veins. From his side, Soobin tried to grab Taehyun's arm, but the younger aggressively pushed him away, refusing to stop. Yeonjun started this, and Taehyun was here to end it._

_He throws another punch that landed on the elder's cheek. “This one’s for your cheating ass!” The man beneath him sputtered a bit of blood from the impact, muttering a series of curses, but not even putting up a fight. He knew why, he should definitely know why._

_He took a quick glance around the crowd - everyone was recording through their phones and some, trying to look for anyone to stop whatever was happening. Taehyun was never a fan of impulsive fights such as this, so he couldn't blame himself when he started to grow tired - mentally and physically. He looked back at the man who broke his best friend’s heart, landing a final blow right on his nose, smiling as he heard a sickening crack and slowly stood up._

_“The last one is just to satiate my anger. Stay the hell away from Choi Beomgyu, you hear me?” The name was like pouring a cold bucket of ice on Yeonjun’s head, with the elder’s eyes widening a bit._

_Everyone was afraid to stop the fight, Taehyun seemed too intimidating, powerful even. So when he took a step forward towards the exit, everyone started to move back, afraid to even make contact with the seething man. Before he took his leave, he looked back to the elder who’s still lying on the ground._

_“One more thing. Tell your man what happened or I swear I’ll come back here and beat you up again.” He gave Yeonjun one final glare before looking over at his boyfriend Soobin, who looked confused as ever, trying his best to help the elder stand up, tears running down from his eyes. He truly pitied Soobin, for being unaware of the whole thing, nobody deserves to be hidden in the dark like that._

_Taehyun was never the type of person to choose violence, but tonight was an exception. With that, he turned around and left, not once did he look back._

* * *

Beomgyu and Yeonjun’s relationship, if it was ever considered as one, were hidden from Taehyun right from the start. Of course he was hurt, quite upset even. They were best friends, he should know about these things, but Beomgyu only told him everything when the damage had already been made, yet as much as Taehyun wanted to stay mad, he knew that his best friend needed him and Beomgyu had his reasons, so the pair made up after talking it through.

The truth is, one of the reasons why he couldn’t stay mad was because he already knew that Beomgyu was seeing someone again, and he found out the secret first from somebody else.

_* Taehyun’s days were spent studying, studying and studying. He was so close to graduating, which is why he was focused now more than ever. Beomgyu was afraid of Taehyun whenever he studied, because one wrong move and Taehyun’s stare would look like daggers thrown directly at his head. Which is why they didn’t get to hang out as much._

_After so long, he can finally rest for the whole weekend after finishing all his requirements in his course which were all due next week. He was currently lounging in Jungkook’s tattoo parlor, with both boys eating ramen while catching up on each other’s lives._

_He was supposed to pay a surprise visit to his best friend, but Jungkook wanted to hang out and show him his newly opened business. So he agreed to meet in the elder’s new tattoo parlor - a side business for the elder, as he was also a choreographer in a famous entertainment company. It was one of the elder’s dreams too, to own a business, plus he was fond of body art, Taehyun thought._

_“Say, your Beomgyu came here last week or so.” Jungkook said, putting his cup of ramen down to grab his soda. Taehyun looked up from his ramen to look at his hyung and raised a brow at the mention of his best friend’s name._

_“I don’t think he’d ever told me that he’d want to get tattooed though?” Taehyun questioned, slightly swirling his ramen with his chopsticks._

_“Oh, he didn’t get a tattoo.” Jungkook answered, a frown appearing on his face. Taehyun rolled his eyes, but curious nonetheless._

_“Go straight to the point, hyung.” Taehyun grumbled, putting down his cup of ramen and focused on the man in front of him instead._

_“Look, I don’t want to assume shit okay? But he was here last week with a friend of mine named Yeonjun, people call him Daniel though. Anyways, they were quite lovey dovey and I couldn’t help but stare.” Jungkook rambled, running a hand down his hair. Taehyun slowly gulped the remaining ramen in his mouth, swallowing the jealousy that came with it._

_“Your point is?” Taehyun tried to sound nonchalant, but his reply only made Jungkook smirk._

_“I know you’re jealous, but you see, it’s actually a problem.. Yeonjun has been dating Soobin, which is also a friend of mine, for more than two years. I was quite surprised when they came in holding each other’s hand. I didn’t know what to say though, Yeonjun acted as if I didn’t know he was cheating.” Taehyun could see how frustrated his hyung was, and the gears on his head were turning, trying to digest the information given._

_It was quite funny how big the world is, but small enough to let fate entangle different strangers in our lives, no matter the distance nor memory you held of them. He sealed his lips, thinking of not telling Beomgyu about this. He’ll tell him once Beomgyu tells him, and he’ll also tell him about Jungkook, but never his feelings, not now, he thinks._

_“Don’t get me wrong, I trust you, hyung.. but I’d rather hear this from Beomgyu himself. Thank you for telling me though, I.. I gotta go.” Taehyun stood up and walked briskly out of the parlor, not sparing the elder a glance._

* * *

When Beomgyu finally opened up about Yeonjun, he was relieved and frustrated at the same time. He believes that his best friend must’ve been afraid to be judged by Taehyun or worse, to be left behind. By now though, Beomgyu should have known how Taehyun would go to hell and back for him, he would even help the elder hide a body if needed be. It was ironic how they promised to always be honest and to tell one another everything through pinky swears, yet Taehyun couldn’t even admit how much he feels for the other.

and it also took him a lot of restraint to tell Beomgyu that they kissed.

_* After making a quick visit at the Eternally Bar, Taehyun was truly exhausted. His dorm was quite far, so he decided to sleep over at his best friend’s apartment. Once he opened the door, a strong smell of alcohol welcomed him, which made him take a step back. After composing himself, he went inside and saw Beomgyu on the floor, barely conscious, with empty bottles of soju accompanying him._

_The younger sighed, nobody told me it was going to be a rough night, Taehyun thought. He bent down and took all the empty bottles, throwing them in the trash bin by the kitchen. He then walked to the bathroom and took one of Beomgyu’s face towels, slightly dampening it by the sink. He walked back to the living room and settled down beside Beomgyu, lightly patting the towel on his best friend’s face._

_“Y..Yeonjun? Is.. Is that you?” Beomgyu whispered, slightly opening his eyes to take a peek at the younger. Taehyun couldn’t help but take in the ache of his chest, still cleaning Beomgyu’s face. After a whole lot of struggle and whining, Taehyun finally got Beomgyu to change into his pajamas and tucked him into his bed._

_He sat at the edge of the bed, waiting for a few minutes before standing up. Before he could move though, the elder suddenly grabbed Taehyun and hugged him. The younger was quite surprised, but nevertheless hugged back. He was tired and frustrated, but Beomgyu’s hug brought him so much comfort, but he immediately took it all back, stiffening under his best friend’s touch after hearing Beomgyu’s words slip past his lips._

_“Yeonjun, I love you.” Beomgyu muttered, moving out from the hug to hold both of the younger’s cheeks, pressing their foreheads together. Taehyun admired Beomgyu’s lashes and flushed cheeks, he could feel the other’s breath, making his heart beat out from his chest. He wished that it was his name that was whispered and not someone else, but he pushed back the pain, he needed to be strong, it will all be worth it in the end, right?_

_“I’m in love with you, always have been.” Taehyun answered. It was quite dumb of him, when he wasn’t the one who is supposed to hear his best friend’s confession, yet he took the chance to say out loud what he had been longing for the longest time._

_Beomgyu choked back a sob and closed the remaining space between them, sealing Taehyun’s lips with his._

_Soft. His best friend’s lips were soft._

_Beomgyu kissed him like there was no tomorrow and he gave back each kiss with the same intensity, maybe even more. There was no better music in the room but the rhythm of their hearts, and Taehyun held onto Beomgyu tighter, getting drunk with the taste of the other’s lips. Taehyun was the one who pulled away, taking in as much oxygen as he could, while Beomgyu moved closer to lean his head on the younger’s shoulder._

_“Go ahead, hyung.” Taehyun softly whispered, running his fingers through the elder’s hair, lulling him to sleep._

_“Go ahead and break my heart, Choi Beomgyu.” When he finally felt the weight of the other leaning more onto him, he moved to lay the other back on the bed, covering Beomgyu with the duvet._

_He knew that the reason why he was brave enough to admit his feelings is because the other was drunk and will most certainly forget about this the next day._

_My heart is yours to take and only yours to break. Taehyun thought, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on the elder’s forehead._

* * *

All these events happened and Beomgyu was never a sobbing mess for Yeonjun, but his silence brought more fear for Taehyun, which led him to where he is now. The younger decided to make Beomgyu a list. It only had two things written on it and are very simple:

_Beomie’s TO DO:_

  1. _A trip to a beautiful and healing place for a whole week! (Don’t worry, I really prepared for this!)_
  2. Visit your family in Daegu (they miss you, hyung)



_Good luck, hyung! I believe in you ~_

_\- Tyunnie_

The said beautiful and healing place was actually mentioned by Jungkook. While they were talking on the phone, his Jungkook hyung mentioned a really nice resort called, ‘Magic Island: Home for the Broken and The Lost’. The elder mentioned that the guy he met, Namjoon, was currently staying there. After looking it up, he was actually surprised to see a lot of positive feedback, saying that the resort helped them change for the better. It was no doubt that the idea might make his best friend laugh and maybe even disagree with him, but he booked a room nevertheless.

On the second task in the list, he wanted Beomgyu to visit his family because he never really got the chance to spend time with them while he was in college. Taehyun thought that maybe talking to his mom could at least lessen the pain that he’s been feeling, plus, his mom’s cooking never fails to bring a smile on the elder’s face.

And he was right. The list did its magic, because Beomgyu came home looking healthier and the guy was absolutely glowing. Although there was still a hint of sadness in his eyes, Taehyun was sure that he could make his hyung’s eyes shine again.

Everything went by like a blur after that. Once his best friend accomplished the list, Beomgyu was definitely different. Different in a good way.

The changes were subtle, but Taehyun always paid attention. He noticed how Beomgyu would stare at him a little longer, how the elder’s hugs were tighter - as if he didn’t want to let go. His best friend would also cuddle with him whenever they watched a movie, plus his words would always leave Taehyun looking as red as a tomato.

Since Beomgyu let him live in his apartment, it was easier for Taehyun to plan a surprise for his best friend’s birthday. He wanted to throw a party at first, though he remembered how Beomgyu strictly wanted to spend his birthday with only his best friend. Taehyun asked him why, to which the elder just shrugged, and he didn’t bother asking him again.

So Taehyun baked him a cake, which was truly difficult since it was his first time. He only hoped that it was edible enough for the both of them, he wouldn’t want to spend the rest of the night lying on a hospital bed with Beomgyu. After that, he blew multiple balloons and put them on the living room floor, he also cooked dinner and lit candles on the dining table. The whole setting looked intimate, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

When Beomgyu came home to the surprise, Taehyun was happy with the elder’s reaction and before the night ended, he gave Beomgyu a gift, one which his best friend had been hoping to buy for so long.

“Well.. do you remember when we were at the mall and you saw that polaroid camera by the window from one of the stores?” Taehyun asked. Beomgyu nodded, holding the paper bag in his hands.

“I saw how happy you looked so I bought it, hoping we could capture more happy memories together.” Taehyun shyly explained, but the elder paid no attention, giving him the brightest smile he could ever muster and reached out to bring the younger back in his arms.

Then both of them got their dream jobs, both of them celebrating it through karaoke - where they ended up slow dancing.

When he finally had the courage, he asked Beomgyu out on a friendly date, the elder happily agreed. Their friendly date started from renting bikes and raced down the end of the bridge near the park, the race was tied to a bet on whoever loses gets to buy food - Taehyun won, and he knew it was because Beomgyu kept stealing glances at him, which made butterflies flutter in his stomach. The food was then used for their mini picnic by the park, as the time they spent not only satisfied their hunger, but their hearts as well. Before going home, they ended the date in Namsan Tower, a famous tourist spot, known for their love locks. He knew that Beomgyu always wanted to visit the place, so he thought that it was the perfect way to end their friendly date. It was at that night when Taehyun was finally able to confess what he felt for the older. He even wrote it in their love lock:

_Bamtyun,_

_To eternally be the Atlas to your cosmos_.

It was such an emotional rollercoaster ride, both for him and Beomgyu, but the ride made it all worthwhile, seeing how far they’ve come. Taehyun remembers the time when they kissed in the jacuzzi in Beomgyu's apartment, how the elder ran away and then came back, and then sang him a song he composed before asking him to be his boyfriend.

The years of waiting and longing didn’t matter anymore for Taehyun, seeing as how his feelings had been slowly reciprocated. All the pain, the wishing and the waiting, Taehyun still believes that Choi Beomgyu is worth it.

* * *

Today marks their 2nd Anniversary and Taehyun just wanted to stay at home and cuddle. Beomgyu on the other hand, planned out the whole day for them, which is sweet, but doesn’t he want more cuddles from the love of his life?

“I promise we can cuddle once we get home, just trust me on this tyunnie” Beomgyu pleaded, a pout on his lips.

“I think you’re just depriving me with one of my necessities - a cuddle session.” Taehyun retorted, making the elder snort from the answer.

“You won’t regret this one though, come on! For me?” Beomgyu tried again, reaching out from the blankets that were covering him, gently pulling the younger closer by the waist.

The younger sighed, knowing he could never resist his boyfriend. He settled himself in Beomgyu’s arms, finally agreeing, which earned him lots of kisses all over the face, given by his lovely boyfriend.

_Boyfriend_. Two years into their relationship and he can’t help but feel giddy knowing that Choi Beomgyu is finally his boyfriend.

  
Beomgyu had been nothing but the best partner he could ever ask for in life. The guy basically spoils Taehyun with his love 24/7 - the elder giving him more than enough for the past two years. It had been two beautiful years for the both of them, and a lot more to go, Taehyun hoped.  
  


But they didn’t have a perfect relationship either - a few fights here and there, misunderstandings and cold shoulders. Of course it was part of every relationship, and the arguments only gave way for them to become better partners for each other - Taehyun wouldn’t have it any other way.

He is happy to experience the good, the bad and everything in between what love has to offer, as long as Beomgyu was beside him.

The date that Beomgyu had planned out started with a casual stroll around the park where they first had their ‘friendly’ date - it was truly nostalgic, the place holding such a beautiful memory for the both of them.

After that, they went back to Namsan tower for a quick sightseeing and to check on their love lock. It was still at the same place where they left it, and their smiles were the main evidence of how it made them happy - remembering the promise written under the starless sky.

Before the sun started to set, Beomgyu took him to their final destination - their high school’s soccer field.

“Hyung, why did you bring me here? Plus, isn’t this trespassing?” Taehyun asked, his worries made him hold the elder’s hand tighter. The other laughed and continued to pull the younger towards the field.

“Don’t worry, my parents are good friends with the principal so we’re all good.” Beomgyu replied, walking a bit further into the field until they were right in the middle.

The elder set down the blankets and placed their picnic basket at the side before sitting down. He looked up to see a very confused Taehyun, so he offered his hand before saying, “I brought you here to fulfill my promise.”

It has been hours and Taehyun was still unaware of what they promised each other. He was trying his best to remember, but nothing seems to come into mind. The thought was completely forgotten once the two played random games, talked a little bit of everything, and even ran around the field to play tag like they were kids.

It was truly a perfect date - watching the sky turn into different hues, from orange to pink and blue. He thanked the elder for the date, with Beomgyu placing a gentle kiss on the other’s forehead.

Soon enough, the dark skies were filled with pretty stars and constellations, leaving both boys standing silent and in awe.

“About my promise.. I’ll give you a hint. I was a sophomore, you were a freshman, we were right here in this exact place and talked about Greek Mythology.” Taehyun looked at his boyfriend, tilting his head to the side, trying to remember.

_* “Hey hyung, don’t you think that the greek gods were lucky enough to be able to touch all the stars in the sky?” Taehyun asked the elder. They were both lying on the grass and looking at the vast sky above, which held all the prettiest lights that they had ever seen._

  
_It was a normal routine for them - to lay on the grass of their school’s field, no matter how prickly or muddy the ground may be, and admire the night sky, especially the pretty lights above._

_Oftentimes, they would find themselves doing nothing but gaze at such beauty that humans are lucky enough to be blessed with - a silent communication that only the two of them can understand._

_“I mean, I guess.. but I’d rather look at the stars from this point of view.” Beomgyu muttered, still stuck in a trance by the beauty of the night sky. Taehyun frowned and asked him why, the elder turned so that he could look at his best friend, the younger doing the same._

_There was a fair amount of distance between the two, and he hoped that it was far enough, as he was afraid that the elder might hear the loud beating of his heart._

_“I think there are things that should be admired from afar. Not all beautiful things should be within arms reach, you know?" The elder whispered. Now Taehyun is smart, but his best friend's answer made him question his knowledge._

_"One of the reasons why it stays beautiful is because of how it simply makes us feel - no matter the distance.” Beomgyu continued, before turning back to his previous position to look at the stars again._

_Taehyun refused to move, still staring at his hyung - captivated by the way Beomgyu admires the sky. The view makes him wish to stop time and stay in this position._

_“Besides, if I were to live as a god for an eternity, I would love to stay right here - under the starry sky with the person whom I am destined to be with.” Beomgyu added, making the younger chuckle at his best friend’s attempt in being romantic._

_“I didn’t know you were stupidly cheesy.” Taehyun chuckled, his best friend didn’t even know what love is, they’re still young after all, but coming from a boy who had zero experience truly made him wonder._

_“Wouldn’t it be nice though? To spend an eternity and see the cosmos fall in love with the way humans express their love with one another?” Beomgyu questioned. The inquiry caught Taehyun by surprise, and it took him a moment before he hummed in agreement._

_“I promise to bring my future partner here, when I ask them to spend their lifetime with me.” Beomgyu muttered, the younger agreeing with the statement, telling his best friend that he too, would probably do the same, if he ever falls in love._

Taehyun’s eyes widened, telling his boyfriend that he remembers the promise. Beomgyu only gave him the sweetest smile, holding Taehyun’s left hand and slowly bent down on one knee. The simple action made Taehyun gasp, covering his mouth with his free hand.

“I think you waited on me for far too long.. I know you’ve been through so much, and I’m glad you never gave up on me. Now if you’d only allow me to, I want to show you how much I love you, for the rest of my life.” Beomgyu said, his eyes shining with unshed tears. Taehyun couldn’t believe that this was really happening, he suddenly felt overwhelmed - but in a good way.

“Kang Taehyun - my best friend, my tyunnie, the love of my life, my better half, and the atlas to my cosmos, will you marry me?” Beomgyu nervously asked, and the younger couldn’t stop the tears from falling, he pulled Beomgyu up and enveloped him in a hug, muttering a lot of ‘yes’ in the elder’s ear.

They pulled away from the hug, with both boys glowing from the sheer happiness that they felt, and so Taehyun leaned in, sealing Beomgyu’s promise with a kiss.

Just how Atlas saw home in the celestial skies and spent an eternity protecting, loving and caring for such beauty - Taehyun does the same in this lifetime.

and he believes that all the struggles made the whole situation worthwhile, as his fiancé softly slips the ring on his finger.

_Fiancé._ The man whom he believes to hold the cosmos just by looking at his eyes, just vowed to spend the rest of his life with him.

Holding each other under the beautiful night sky - the stars bearing witness of their love.

END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and my first ever series is done! *sobs*
> 
> I wanted to focus tyun’s POV on how love leaves multiple marks in our lives, and it was up to him to uncover his feelings through the signs provided. Thus the title 'Traces of Love'.
> 
> \-- interact with me on [ TWITTER ](https://twitter.com/choibinssi)  
> \-- ask me anonymously on [ CC ](https://curiouscat.qa/choibinssi)
> 
> Anyways, thank you so much for reading this series. I hope I get to see you again in my other / future works! :) <3


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